we'll be chasing the sun this summer

i dont want to be alone 

Will Sing For Beer

i had one of 'those' days. i overslept, got hit in the face with a rugby ball and squirted an orange in my eye. not productive. also, skipping lessons to go the pub probably limits my prospects in life. maybe i'll just work in a shop and fall in love with a builder.

on a more pleasant note... i cannot wait for summer to start. under the cruel british school system im obliged to be totured by teachers for another month. no wonder i drown my sorrows at 10 in the morning. once im set free it is down to dublin i go, to be reunited with my lover, my mot, my soulmate, my eternal joy. aoife!

we're planning to be bums this summer. tramps, if you will, living off beer and couchsurfing. ahhh dream summer.

and also as a well-done-for-getting-expelled-and-getting-your-life-back-on-track-so-quickly-and-getting-a-job-at-a-greenpeace-office present, my mum is taking to Paris for a long weekend in September. yuss.

until then, i'll spend my days making friends with other failures in life at the pub and playing the Maccabees on ziggy my ukulele.

happy wednesday, Raya

You're busy being make-believe

When you are no longer able to invest any faith in anyone, the closest you will ever come to loving is to love your untainted idea of a person you cannot have.

Their hands will break all the beauty in you

3 months. 3 months. 3 months.

Its me-Benny. 

Long time no talk. well, came home on thursday...as usuall overall exitment lead to a loud heartbeat and an overdose on adrenaline hormones made me running around the house until 10 pm that night. friday..went shopping bought a looooovely pink dress and new heels for my friends wedding on saturday. going to upload pictures asap.on saturday i went to the wedding were and almost melted because of the insane 35 plus degrees here (its probably just 20 but after being  ireland for the last months it feels like a heatwave) I got drunk with my friends on champagne. Saturday night I slept over at my friends, her unbelieveble cute brother invited some friends over so we dranktoo much white wine and cooked until 2am. Church on Sunday and then hoooome to a barbecue of my friend who oh-my-gooosh is moving to Uruguay...thats like in the jungle in south america..(well not jungle BUT ..close) where i overate myself on strawberries and icecream. Today was pretty calm, went swimming for like an hour and bought some stuff and now I am packing, cos I am going to my Nanas tomorrow...where I am just gonna chill and wait for my friends who are coming on Wendsday.....gonna get drunk and have a pool party. Don't let me forget my speakers. 

Packlist: 

swimsuit

Champagne

underwear
high waisted shorts

oversize t shirt 

shit....forgot to buy new make up.....

Bisoux, 

Benny.

L

Here's to not being skinny enough, to the girls who can't eat nothing and/or exercise incessantly, 

and here's to not feeling good enough, not being able to say "hey i'm not perfect but this is how i am, so come and grab me by the love handles, world!" but feeling like shit about it instead. 

Here's to not being a "normal girl" who has millions of friends who comment things like "♥" every time they upload a half decent over exposed picture of themselves onto facebook, who doesn't own a million pairs of high-heels and study and get good grades and play sports and "ooh so naughty of me but i guess i'll have ONE M&M just this once!" like a good girl. 

Here's to never being rational about anything, never liking a boy and maybe go on a few nice dates with him, but instead falling head over heels for someone you know you'll never have and then obsessing over them night and day even though there was probably nothing all that great about them in the first place. Never studying or bothering to do the things you should so you might be in any way successful in school/college/life but hoping that everything will just fall into place for you one day and there's no point worrying about it now, right? 

Here's to those of us who every day feel like they must have come from a different planet to the people around them, who feel how unfair it is that they can't be normal and peaceful like other people, who are jealous of those with stability and calm and control in their lives and wish that something as simple as getting through the day wouldn't, for once, feel like a fucking battle. That maybe you could feel one emotion or feel one way about yourself for more than 5 minutes. 

Here I am, wondering why the simplest things in life have to be so complicated, why being a teenager ("the best years of your life!") is more wearing than an episode of Deadliest Catch.

If you feel this way, if you can relate to any of the statements above, or if you're sitting in your pretty room uploading pretty-ish pictures of yourself onto Facebook and eating your one M&M while texting that nice boy you went to the cinema with and think is "alright" (after your hockey match and morning study session, of course), thinking that you should be re-arranging your high heels but instead just want to listen to the angsty rants of those less fortunate than yourself...

Well, you've come to the right place. 

Peace, love and angst,

Aoife ✝