Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

Heading off to London tomorrow for 10 days, doing an internship with You magazine and then Grazia magazine, much and hopefully fruitful shopping, and seeing darling Benedicta. 

I cannot wait, but i'm also apprehensive because i'll be doing so much traveling on my own, and even the Dublin bus system baffles me, let alone the Tube!

Also my crippling social awkwardness makes the prospect of meeting all these cool magazine people absolutely terrifying. Agh. 

.

Also, i hate people with emotions and who complain instead of bottling everything up and dealing with it them-goddamn-selves the self-destructive way like the rest of us. 

Pussies.

Xoxo, Aoife. 

VIVA LA GYPSY

\

How are you feeling?

The amount of faggotry in this world is astonishing. I swear my Tumblr dashboard will actually soon overload if it sees another piece of fucking lovey dovey limp-dicked bullshit, like this kind of crap;

And this very nearly made me gag;

Like honestly, grow some balls, you sap. 

Jesus Christ the internet is a horrible thing, it gives people like this a medium to display how soppy and virginal they are.

No, you're right, i don't care about you, and you know, maybe if you spent less time making sentimental pathetic pictures like this someone might actually love you, but no. 

I'd rather be a bitter cunt than an emotional over-eater who reblogs cringe-making shit on Tumblr all day instead of actually developing a not hateable personality and getting the fuck over it. 

Peace & Love xoxo

Aoife. 

Their hands will break all the beauty in you

L

Here's to not being skinny enough, to the girls who can't eat nothing and/or exercise incessantly, 

and here's to not feeling good enough, not being able to say "hey i'm not perfect but this is how i am, so come and grab me by the love handles, world!" but feeling like shit about it instead. 

Here's to not being a "normal girl" who has millions of friends who comment things like "♥" every time they upload a half decent over exposed picture of themselves onto facebook, who doesn't own a million pairs of high-heels and study and get good grades and play sports and "ooh so naughty of me but i guess i'll have ONE M&M just this once!" like a good girl. 

Here's to never being rational about anything, never liking a boy and maybe go on a few nice dates with him, but instead falling head over heels for someone you know you'll never have and then obsessing over them night and day even though there was probably nothing all that great about them in the first place. Never studying or bothering to do the things you should so you might be in any way successful in school/college/life but hoping that everything will just fall into place for you one day and there's no point worrying about it now, right? 

Here's to those of us who every day feel like they must have come from a different planet to the people around them, who feel how unfair it is that they can't be normal and peaceful like other people, who are jealous of those with stability and calm and control in their lives and wish that something as simple as getting through the day wouldn't, for once, feel like a fucking battle. That maybe you could feel one emotion or feel one way about yourself for more than 5 minutes. 

Here I am, wondering why the simplest things in life have to be so complicated, why being a teenager ("the best years of your life!") is more wearing than an episode of Deadliest Catch.

If you feel this way, if you can relate to any of the statements above, or if you're sitting in your pretty room uploading pretty-ish pictures of yourself onto Facebook and eating your one M&M while texting that nice boy you went to the cinema with and think is "alright" (after your hockey match and morning study session, of course), thinking that you should be re-arranging your high heels but instead just want to listen to the angsty rants of those less fortunate than yourself...

Well, you've come to the right place. 

Peace, love and angst,

Aoife ✝

Sometimes it's just me and all my bottles all alone, I ain't coming back this time.

Summer's here, heavy air, loud and alive

the days are rare

the most thoughtful eyes will never find

the corner where the quiet lies

Jet Morrissey: A strange and wonderful creature

I know a girl called Jet.
She eats pickles in empty baths and sits on the roof in thunderstorms.
Jet likes to be naked, and she likes dream catchers.
She tells her therapist to go fuck herself and buys Ukuleles and steals DVDs from ex-boyfriends.
Jet never ceases to amaze me with her creativity, her beauty, her wonderful naivety and her bizarre ways. 
If i were a musician i would write songs about Jet. When i am a photographer i shall take pictures of Jet, and when i am a director i will make a movie, about a girl on LSD, staring Jet. 
I am constantly discovering new and even more wonderful things about Jet. She's like no one else in the world.
I had her but for a short time, and i wish i'd realised then how spectacular she is, i didn't know how good i had it, with my darling Jet. 
I wasn't always good to her, i didn't always treat her like i should have. And even when she wasn't good to me, it wasn't because she meant to...she always meant the best.
I could be mean and nasty, and i'm so sorry now.
But i'll have her again soon.
Soon we'll be living in a bath tub, rolling in Cheerios, and i'll treat my dearest Jet the way i should do.
If i never have anything else again, i pray that i'll always have Jet, and i'll pray that she'll see one day in herself, all the things i see in her.
Looking back now, from a much lonelier place, i can't believe how good we had it, Jet. We had eachother, and we didn't need anything else. We were amazing.

"These violent delights have violent ends 

and in their triumph die

Like fire and powder

 which as they kiss

consume."

Don't worry, Jet. We'll be together again soon. And this time nothing will part us, i promise.

With all my glitter-covered love,

Bryn. 

Fuck Yeah This Man

SEAN SMITH

Look at his sexy tan dear christ.

This boy = my life. 

Bitches, bring it.


Aoife ✝

Free like a bird.

I havn't slept. For the last like 24 hours. Flew home today at 5 in the morning and was so exited...I couldn't sleep. The last weeks I felt like I was trapped. Like someone sucked my energy into a big black hole. Now I am at home and I am free like a bird. For the whole day I have been running around...beeing so hyper. Drank like 3l of Diet Coke. The Air of Freedom sourrounds me and I want to breath it in. All of it. Tomorrow I am going to the Gym. Serious Diet is going to start. Partys are gonna start on Mondays...until Thursday. Boys...Alcohol....I need you. SO MUCH. I have my energy, my craziness back. I am HOME. I am FREE. 

Tomorrow: sleep until 4. Gym until 8. Party until the sun rises.

Food and Drink: not existent. Diet Coke, Coffee and Willpower will feed me. 
Benny.

Champagne Strawberries and Cream

Go outside. Breath in the clean fresh air and let the sun shine on your skin. 

Well, that is what I have been doing for the last week. Only 3 days of School and then a lovely trip to the west coast of ireland with almost my whole year, it was beautiful. 

Almost got a little bit burned today which is...for Ireland....too weird. Cleaned up my soul, listened to music, went shopping and constantly looked forward to the end of the week. Easter holidays, you are much needed. 

Even though its not gonna be the annual trip to Tuscany with my family this time...i cannot wait to see my friends, whip the cream, eat the strawberries and get drunk in the field at 11 AM.

I miss Aoife. I miss Raya. 

Fuck

So, Raya and I, ahem, got expelled from boarding school.






No, really.








Don't go wrong; hide your bong. 

She liked to sleep late and paint. He liked to wear knitted jumpers and drink gin at 9am

The house is a bit empty this weekend, everybody is off busy with their own lives, doing things. constructive things. you know what im talking about...
buying milk and bread and eggs
lunching with family
buying a dress for tonights night out
doing the laundry


i dont even know what im doing these days. sleeping late and floating about watching ten minutes of an episode of skins or 90210 and then making a bowl of special k and only having three bites and then finding my champagne burst inside my wardrobe and then crawling inside my wardrobe and hiding and singing bon iver and sometimes mike posner if he's in my head and then crawling out and looking in the mirror and not even thinking anything and then going to crawl inside aoifes bed because it makes me feel better and then accidentaly falling asleep and realising that i should really be washing my sheets or reading up on roman architecture which i dont think i really care about.


i dont have time for frivolous things like reality, or traffic lights.
Reality: something that has real existence and must be dealt with in real life
Traffic Lights: look cool when you're on drugs and they change colour


people are such strange creatures. they confuse me so much. i think that if i weren't me and i was someone else i would HATE me and would never want to be friends with me. i wouldn't find me funny or find any of the things i say interesting and i would think that i was the biggest bitch in the entire world. but i still find the concept of humans interesting, 
the way that underneath it all, everyone is very self-centred
the way that we all hate ourselves a little bit
the way that we all love ourselves a little bit
the way we love that we hate ourselves 
the way that we all dont know what the fuck is going on
the way that some of us pretend that we know 
the way some people try very hard to look like their not trying even though they are
the way we're all very similar underneath

Believe in yourself, 

Believe in your dreams.

You're the only one who can say what you can or cannot do. 

Chai Tea

So, us fruitcakes at BDBPR have just discovered Chai Tea!
My oh my.
It is incredible, possibly my new second favourite tea! After y'know, traditional classic irish tea with milk. No sugar, please and thank you. 
It's like black tea, but with that extra umph. And it's lovely with milk, which gives it an advantage over all those other fruity and herbal teas. 
So yeah, no angsty/drunken/ranting post this time, just some nice Chai Tea ♥.
Aoife. 

please

See something.

Be inspired.

Do something spontaneous.

Be wonderful.

Follow your wildest dreams.

Destroy everything you love before everything you love destroys you

Little love muffins, 

BDBPR is suffering a serious case of neglect, i do apologise. 

The three of us have been too preoccupied with being pimp$ and dirty h1p5t3rs to blog. 

So, i give you: some pretty pictures. 

Je ne regrette rien

It's 2011, and my year is already looking up. I have one of those good feelings and a new attitude. Trouble had already started mere moments after the New Years countdown, but it was one of those experiences you just have to take and use it to move on and learn. I feel like 2011 is not only a new year but a new chapter in my life, and i have finished an old one and burned the book.
 Sorry to be cryptic, but i don't want to burden anyone with the intricacies of my life, i save that for poor Benny and Raya! Haha. 
I hope you all start 2011 with a bigger and better view on life, an unstoppable attitude and no regrets.
Heavy hearts are so 2010.
Love, 
Aoife.