Fuck

So, Raya and I, ahem, got expelled from boarding school.






No, really.








Don't go wrong; hide your bong. 

FUCK YEAH FREE BITCH

So. us here at BDBPR have a LOT going on over the next few weeks. firstly, the national holiday of getting absolutely trashed is coming up. yep. st patricks day. living in dublin gives us an advantage at this time of year as everyone goes all out and we have a weekend planned full of jelly-shots, fun fairs and a night out on the town. aoifes and i have to get the ferry the next day at an ungodly hour to go wales to smoke a loada ganja, hit up PIER PRESSURE in aberystwyth and visit the fam!! 

then we're hittin' up our friend D's cottage in the west of ireland to have a weekend of pills, pot and pancakes.

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT

http://www.petitiononline.com/Legalize/petition-sign.html?


peace bro

Ganja babe my sweet ganja babe I love the way ya love me and the way ya misbehavin'

some may call me traditional for saying this, but sunday is the OFFICIAL day of rest, end of. And no, not in a religious way (not gettin' into this jesus debate, ya'll believe what you want) but in a i-drank-way-too-much-vodka-and-took-too-many-pills-last-night kind of rest. 

Today, as personal advice from me and aoife, you should all take advantage of the upcoming spring weather and blue sky we have decending upon us and go and chill in a feild, take some berries, grab a friend and/or fuck buddy and go getta bit of ganja and just be floating with those clouds. 

We look like proppa bloggers innit: 

Kay now not so much...

Fruitcakes 4 lyf yo.

She liked to sleep late and paint. He liked to wear knitted jumpers and drink gin at 9am

The house is a bit empty this weekend, everybody is off busy with their own lives, doing things. constructive things. you know what im talking about...
buying milk and bread and eggs
lunching with family
buying a dress for tonights night out
doing the laundry


i dont even know what im doing these days. sleeping late and floating about watching ten minutes of an episode of skins or 90210 and then making a bowl of special k and only having three bites and then finding my champagne burst inside my wardrobe and then crawling inside my wardrobe and hiding and singing bon iver and sometimes mike posner if he's in my head and then crawling out and looking in the mirror and not even thinking anything and then going to crawl inside aoifes bed because it makes me feel better and then accidentaly falling asleep and realising that i should really be washing my sheets or reading up on roman architecture which i dont think i really care about.


i dont have time for frivolous things like reality, or traffic lights.
Reality: something that has real existence and must be dealt with in real life
Traffic Lights: look cool when you're on drugs and they change colour


people are such strange creatures. they confuse me so much. i think that if i weren't me and i was someone else i would HATE me and would never want to be friends with me. i wouldn't find me funny or find any of the things i say interesting and i would think that i was the biggest bitch in the entire world. but i still find the concept of humans interesting, 
the way that underneath it all, everyone is very self-centred
the way that we all hate ourselves a little bit
the way that we all love ourselves a little bit
the way we love that we hate ourselves 
the way that we all dont know what the fuck is going on
the way that some of us pretend that we know 
the way some people try very hard to look like their not trying even though they are
the way we're all very similar underneath

Believe in yourself, 

Believe in your dreams.

You're the only one who can say what you can or cannot do. 

And it looked like magic. Like we were somewhere else. Like we were someplace better.

Right now i feel like i hate some people. I guess hate is a strong word...as strong as love, i think. So i suppose i don't really hate them at all, but i really dislike them, let's say.
I feel this way because i also love them. I love them and i don't think they love me. Either they don't know how to love or they won't let themselves love or they're too busy loving someone else. 
But i am me and i've let myself love them and they are them and for whatever reason they don't seem to love me anymore. And they are different individuals and they each have hurt me in an individual way. And i am hurting and i don't know how to help myself. 
I don't know how to stop loving someone i fell so hard for and messed me around so much;
I don't know how to stop loving someone who i had such a strong friendship with, and who then decided to build himself a wall, of which i was on the opposite side;
And i don't know how to stop loving someone who i feel takes me for granted and maybe never loved me in the first place. 
I am so terribly sad. And so very angry. Angry at them, for making me feel so awful, and angry at myself, for loving them in the first place; for making myself so vulnerable. For letting them do this. 
I am at a loss, i have no idea what to do. Do i carry on hating and being angry and resentful? Do i take the moral high road and carry on loving them and being the best friend that i can be, even though i'm not going to get that in return? Or do i just do the hard thing and face the music, that this is how it is, and this is something i'm going to have to deal with and overcome? I don't know.
I do love them.
It hurts. 

Chai Tea

So, us fruitcakes at BDBPR have just discovered Chai Tea!
My oh my.
It is incredible, possibly my new second favourite tea! After y'know, traditional classic irish tea with milk. No sugar, please and thank you. 
It's like black tea, but with that extra umph. And it's lovely with milk, which gives it an advantage over all those other fruity and herbal teas. 
So yeah, no angsty/drunken/ranting post this time, just some nice Chai Tea ♥.
Aoife.